Bad Habbits

Lets have a bad conversation.

Bad backs, bad knees bad joints, bad genes. Over the years I have heard many people describe aspects of their body as bad. Of course, what bad exactly means will be different for everyone. Language is personal. Our life experience flavor the words we use. What you mean when you say something is bad may not be what I mean when I say it is bad. That said unless something is badass, calling something bad is well bad. There is a lack of acceptance when we call something bad. We don’t want what is bad. By calling some part of our body bad we create a neurolinguistic connection between that part of ourselves and a disapproving emotion. Furthermore saying something is bad denies us productive reflection. What can we do with something bad?

So then why do we all too often describe ourselves or at least our various parts as bad? I have a long and short answer to this question. My short answer is habit. Our language like everything else falls into patterns. Any stressor such as addressing a physical vulnerability will trigger habituated coping patterns. If we are not paying attention we can easily fall into self-sabotaging patterns to protect our emotional body during these time. Bad an easy all-purpose word. It fits into many linguistic keyholes so it's an easy word to overuse.

Now for my longer and perhaps more uncomfortable reason. Saying our something or other is bad is not only just a habit but a form of avoidance. What is a habit ( in all its meaning ) but a way to avoid the present? It's something we can use to distract ourselves from the uncomfortable realities bubbling all around us. Pain discomfort or weakness in the body is an uncomfortable reality. It's a reminder of our vulnerability in the universe, a reminder of our mortality. When we are describing our knees, back, whatever as being bad out of habit we are not only succumbing to routine but we are hiding from issues that should be dealt with. By ignoring the parts of ourselves that are feeling pain, we are ignoring out of fear the parts of us that need the most attention.

While it's not good to fixate on pain we should give what pain we are experiencing proper attention. When we try to ignore pain, it tends to screams louder at us. Pain is persistent like that. By sinking into our bodies, to feel what exactly is going on and taking the effort to transform that sensation into words we learn the secrets of our more unpleasant sensations. We learn where our edges are. For example, we can learn if we are only sore in the evening or the morning. Whether certain actions exasperate or alleviate our discomfort. All these data points allow us to contain our pain. We can focus on what makes us feel healthy. We can use this knowledge to modify our behaviors to minimizes our discomfort and maximizes our well being. By simply declaring something bad we avoid this at times difficult work. If however, we break out of our habitual responses and face what is causing us harm we can live healthier less painful lives. And that's not a bad thing.

Anthony Bruni